Bummer
Dang, I’m not able to update my Tumblr about the latest happenings in my life, boooooo. Anyway, everyone have a solemn Holy Week.
I’ll update my account as soon as I have time.
To the Anonymous
I happened to stumble upon this lone message in my Inbox here in Tumblr. I was a bit surprised, but was thinking it is perhaps yet another spam by some lunatic.
Apparently, it’s not. It says
Please stop being sad
Dear beautiful human being, thank you very much for showing your concern. Or perhaps you just don’t like seeing sad posts on your Tumblr news feed. Anyway, thank you so much for letting me know strangers do care. Or I may know you in the real world but thanks anyway.
Bottomline is, thank you. But I cannot be happy all the time. We have to face the fact that sometimes, life is cruel, things are not ideal, and friends leave us. Although there are things to be happy about, please understand that I’m a human of complex emotions, and my free will to choose which emotion I wish to wear for a certain time is my choice.
That bottomline was pretty long. Conclusion: I love you and thank you, and you’re a beautiful human being. :)
(Source: gcatherinev, via maharawngamisay)
Stay - Rihanna
Lately this song’s stuck in my mind. Why do I relate to it so much?
Happiness? Pfft, tell that to a rabbit.
Funny, I’ve realized this when I’m already halfway through college. It’s not the degree program that’s the problem (well, it contributes somehow), but it’s the environment I’m in. I feel like it’s not healthy anymore, it’s suffocating, and it’s destructive, not only to me, but to those around me as well.
Now, I have two options:
- Just finish the goddamn degree while polishing skills on lying to people on how you really feel; or
- Hope for a miracle and my family suddenly decides to go abroad or my cousins abroad decide to enroll me in a foreign university.
Option 2 is a far-fetched option, but hey, one can always hope right? Losers always say that hope’s their only chance — oops, OUR only chance. I happen to be one of them now.
I blame all the people I’ve come across with, except my parents. I blame my supposedly friends who do nothing but use me for their own gain; I blame the society for setting norms that are restrictive and supports hypocrisy and exploitation; I blame myself for being stupid and irrational and immature.
But one thing’s for sure: I’m not happy anymore.
My sudden abhorrence to my premiere organization has been resurrected and has left me baffled. However, with my plans ahead, I have to think things through. Besides, I had the former president’s words to live by:
Gamitan lang naman lahat ng ito.
A Date, perhaps?
I asked her if she could come with me tonight. She said yes. And we did go out, to this dorm party.
Achievement unlocked: As the girl you like out
Achievement unlocked: Do go out with her
She made this night really, really special. If it weren’t for my pesky exam tomorrow, I could’ve spent the night with her in *druken?* bliss. :)
But I guess I’m saying so much that she’s starting to suspect I like her. Graaaah, no to awkwardness please. X/
She’s so Mean
I don’t know if she likes me too, but I like her.
Anyway, I really like talking to her. I mean, dang, she’s really pretty. And special, too. And we have things in common.
I think I must be in love. HAHAHA!
I don’t know what the future might hold for us, lady, but I’ll be willing to spend my time just to ensure you go home safely.
I don’t care if you think I’m jeje, but it would really hurt if you do think I’m such. >:))
I could’ve been her Prince Charming
Her name was Joanne. Not sure how to spell it though. But she made my day, really, really special. :”)
“I Think I Am in Friend-Love with You”
Published in Sadie Magazine.
2012
iRant
Apparently, I’ve reached a critical point, and I’ve went over it. Now, I’ve been reduced to ostracization because I’m on the other side of the spectrum, and because what I thought I did right was apparently wrong.
There are many sides of an issue, and this is mine.
First thing, I’d like to emphasize that I would not let myself be reduced to mediocrity because some disillusioned people think they could. Of course, I can be labelled many names in their turf, because my influence there has faltered long ago and new stars have taken over.
Second thing, I apologize for being over the top. But I deserve an apology as well, because I HAVE BEEN INSULTED AND DISGRACED. Also, don’t feed wood to the fire, honey, especially if you don’t want to get burned or you have totally zilch idea how the fuck the fire started in the first place.
Third thing, only a select people know what happened. But of course, each would have their own interpretation of how the tale began and ended. So, despite the fact that I have my own view to share, nobody would dare listen. Besides, who listens to lunatics nowadays anyway?
It’s just frustrating to know that I’m so damn good in making enemies. But can I be blamed? Can I be blamed if I exercise my right as an EQUAL HUMAN BEING? Can I be blamed if I bend your words and see ‘individuality’ in a different light?
People who do not commend respect to others DO NOT deserve respect, either.
Intolerance, immaturity, these should not go together.
From this day forth, I curse and swear, those who decide to clash with me will suffer. They will regret the day they decided to cross my path because they insist that they be right when they are not.
I don’t care about your irony. As far as my knowledge in idioms go, one rule applies to us both: Practice what you preach.
P.S. My favorite poem. I can’t look at it the same way anymore.
